I've finally reached that phase in life. The one where I realize I'm growing up, and I've lost interest in Anime. I've been slowly losing interest over time, but now it's hit a point where I do not want to draw in the style, nor watch anything. I've lost all interest in Anime. Maybe occassionally I'll find a good manga to read, but I'm no longer going to allow myself to delve into fandom. I don't think it's a bad thing, I want to work on my own styles, my own fantasy worlds and creations. My novel has been sitting on the sideline for months, and I've been desperately wanting to continue with it. I've just been sitting at a stalemate, not knowing what I'm going to do with my future. It's led me into an artists block, yet again.

I've reached a point where I am no longer in school, and lost beyond all words to what I am going to do. The simplest thing is get a part-time job, but beyond that? Clueless. I've had two failed attempts at picking a career path, and spent two years in college for things that are leading me no where. Art as a job? Nope. I don't have the drive or interest to design for other people. It's a hobby, I draw what I want, when I want (which unfortunately has become rather infrequent this summer). Vet Tech? No, don't like the career. I tolerated my co-op for over a month, but it just proved to me that I am not suited for the job. I don't enjoy medical oriented careers, as the setting is too frustrating, and I really feel there is too much on the line. Perhaps I just don't feel ready for that kind of responsibility. Who knows.

The bottom line is, I need to take my time to figure out where I'm going in life. No more rushed decisions. Anyway, I've cleared out my journals (which dated back to like 2003), and moved all my art into scraps. It's still viewable, but everyone who visits has probably noticed my lack of activity. Perhaps in the future I will return when I've found my way and style, but for now I want to work on what -I- like, without worrying about comments or what others will think.

I want to work on realism, along with animal portraits (realistic and cartoon), and develop my own style to draw character with. It's going to take a lot of time to retrain myself from anime, but I believe the end product will be something I'll truly be proud of. I can't wait to finally produce a piece I'd be proud to hang on my wall. Fantasy creatures are a lot of fun, and I hope to work more with studying animal physiology to develop my own creatures.

Thanks for all the views and support, and hope that one day I will be back again!